Out of Tears
by PegasusAcc
Summary: --(songfic: artist-Rolling Stones) Midii is Trowa's unseen guardian angel as she loves him from afar. [Sadness]


Note: A "quick fic" as it has come to be dubbed- the contagious problem of talking and hanging out with Liewe for too long. I was feeling bad about how quickly yet wonderfully she got her stories out…this is my attempt at her skill.

Song: _Out of Tears _by: _Rolling Stones_

Out of Tears

By: PegasusAcc

Midii watched him walk away, despite her cries fro him to come back. He didn't hear her; he wouldn't hear her. So she cried, falling to the ground in a shaking heap devoid of any movement. She flung her arms around her shaking body. She wanted to feel cold; she wanted to feel empty.

But she couldn't feel anything at all. Her shouts died on her swollen lips, screams bottled within her mind. She had to let it out someway, somehow.

She loved him. It hurt to see him walk away, knowing it was her fault. Everything was her damn fault. But as he faded into the smoke-filled horizon, she couldn't tell him that. There was no way to breathe, and no way to speak.

__

I can't feel 

Feel a thing

I can't shout

I can't scream

Breathe it out

Breathe it in

All this love

From within

She looked up at the stars, her chest heaving with the strain of her sobs. Midii blinked back the tears, staring into the infinite expanse of blue velvet across the sky. That's where he was going; that's where Nanashi would go.

An idea began to formulate in the back of her beset mind. She would follow him, if it meant into the bowels of hell and back. And she would protect him at all costs. He might hate her, but it was the only repentance of which she could think.

Midii ran the back of her hand across her eyes, wiping the moist trails from her cheeks. She would have to be strong. No more crying. She would be strong for Nanashi, and strong for him alone.

__

I won't cry when you say goodbye

I'm out of tears

I won't die when you wave goodbye

I'm out of tears

Out of tears 

Midii opened her compact, lightly applying the concealer to her cheeks and checking the man three rows behind her. He was clad in OZ uniform, jade eyes hidden beneath a sweep of bangs as he rummaged through the files in his lap.

She smiled contently, returning the compact to her purse and leaned back into the seat as the shuttle began to hum in its takeoff. It had taken her longer than she had hoped, but he'd made it onto the shuttle with less confrontation than she'd expected. The air marshal had been a former Alliance military officer who also happened to be one of the traitors of the rebel army five years ago.

Midii chuckled behind her hand, remembering the vain cries stifled by her handkerchief. He's been so easy to con into the bathroom, believing that she had shown him any interest in him what so ever. She flipped her hair behind her shoulder, waving off an attendant politely as she attempted to offer her refreshments. The flight to the colony interview would only be an hour or so. And she wasn't very hungry anyway.

She contented herself by watching him through the glare in her window, feeling the familiar sting in the place where her heart should've been. She sighted heavily, nostalgic memories engulfing her. Those years ago, she wouldn't have been afraid to sit near him, to listen to the soft murmurings as he worked, the tune of some forgotten song.

But those were years past, back before the betrayal. There was no sense in regrets. So she had kept her thoughts, wishes, dreams and nightmares in the deepest corners of her soul. She had become nothing but a shadow, and she knew very well that shadows couldn't feel, and shadows couldn't regret.

__

I won't drink

I won't eat

I can't hear

I won't speak

Let it out

Let it in

All this pain

From within

From within

And I just can't pour my heart out

To another living thing

I'm a whisper

I'm a shadow

But I'm standing up to sing

She watched the explosion through a thousand monitors. The Vayeate as it burst into pieces, the horror as the light lit the blackness of space. She glanced at everyone's awestruck faces, the other officers of OZ. Officer Barton, the best pilot the organization had seen, had been blown apart like it was nothing.

Midii fell to the ground, her knees weak and cursing herself. How could she have let this happen? Hadn't this been the exact thing in which she had dedicated her life to preventing? Her eyes tingled, but her cheeks remained dry. There was still a fleeting chance that he would, _had_, survived. He was strong, so she would only have to be stronger.

She picked herself up from the floor, grappling with the urge to regurgitate. She's lost him before, but never like this. She'd said goodbye to him once…she wasn't prepared to say it again.

__

I won't cry when you say goodbye

I'm out of tears

I won't die when you wave goodbye

I'm out of tears, yes I am

I won't cry, I swear my eyes are dry

I'm out of tears

I won't cry, I'm going to tell you why

I'm out of tears

Out of tears

Out of tears

The rain beat down up on her black umbrella, her heels clicking silently on the pavements as eh followed cautiously through the waterlogged colony. She'd led him this far, leaving subtle hints for him to leave the airport and travel this way. Though she doubted he had understood why the security guard had forced him through the gates in such a forceful manner, she congratulated herself on the small victory. With his loss of memory, she wouldn't have to be as careful as she'd become accustomed to as of late.

She watched from beneath the brim as the rain soaked his shirt, molding it to his shaking figure. She had never wished to see him this way. He was so helpless and alone with nowhere to turn. She wanted to help him, to hold him. He would never remember her, not until his memories were restored. But it was that one final thought that drove her away. She was only an echo from his past, and that was exactly how she planned to say.

Midii smiled as the other woman came into view. Catherine. It had taken careful planning to lure her into an extra trip to the grocery store; her fridge in fact had been quite full. But she had managed none the less. Biting her tongue, she noticed the glint of unfamiliarity cross his face. Catherine would take care of him from here. The adoptive older sister would protect him from any harm, at least for the time being.

Midii turned to leave, casting a glance over her shoulder and repeating to herself _"Catherine will take care of him for now…"_

Let it out

From within

Some you lose

Some you win

I can drift

I can dream

'Til I float

Off your screen

And I just can't pour my heart out

To another living thing

I'm a whisper

I'm a shadow

But I'm standing up to sing

Midii sighed, falling and blending into the circus crowd. The war was finally over, and Trowa was much easier to observe now that he wasn't off battling. She'd served as a mechanic on Peacemillion, specializing on the repairs to Heavyarms. The years of observing him as a mechanic before operation Meteor had finally come into play. That was back when her job had been somewhat simpler.

But now all the games of follow the leader had ended and she was able to simply watch him as a silent protector. The lights dimmed, the show beginning.

Midii didn't clap or jump to her feet with excitement as he executed his famous triple flip, or scream as Catherine hurtled knives a mere fraction of an inch from his face. Yet her eyes were glued to his expression, the seamless mask of no emotion.

The crowd erupted in final cheers as he made a few circles around the center ring, poised on the lion's massive back. He flipped, taking a deep bow toward the audience.

Midii smiled. He job was complete. Now Nanashi…or Trowa Barton as he come to call himself, no longer needed her protection. She stood, disappearing behind the multi-colored canvas flap into the night, her cheeks still dry.

__

I won't cry when you say goodbye

I'm out of tears

I won't die when you wave goodbye

I'm out of tears

I won't cry, I swear my eyes are dry

I'm out of tears

Out of tears

Trowa watched as she left, her golden hair waving from the slight breeze in the tent. He stood, removing his clown mask and dropping it into the upturned dirt of the ring.

She'd protected him silently from the sidelines for nearly five years. Never more than a familiar and comforting presence, he'd always felt safe though he'd never seen her. But now that she was gone, he felt a sudden emptiness swell within him. He wanted to cal out to her, but he knew she wouldn't hear him.

He wanted to feel…something, some type of sorrow or emotion. He had to let it out someway. He loved her, and it hurt to see her walk away after all these years.

Trowa took a final bow for her, the tears restrained in his eyes. He would be strong, like Midii.

__

I won't cry, I'm going to tell you why

I'm out of tears

Out of tears

Out of tears


End file.
